A ripple. A Bump. Or Thrown Overboard
In other words, the normal internal experience of loss.
The internal experience of upheaval and turmoil and pain… that we experience varies from loss to loss and from individual to individual. And even varies as we work our way through the grieving and healing process. Let’s take a look at how the experience of loss can play out.
Sometimes the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual impact of a loss presents as a small bump in the road. Easily—or without much effort, we are able to sort out, make sense of and process the change involved. In like manner, we are able to assimilate, adapt and integrate all aspects of the loss relatively quickly into our ongoing life story without much or any distress or much fanfare.
We remain mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually intact. In fact, we may even experience an internal sense of relief or calm or peace. In other words, we are able to remain in the driver’s seat in aspects of our life. Our personal experience is one of putting one foot in front of the other and walking forward down the road of life without tripping over our feet or missing a beat.
That said, it’s important to note that this type of reaction/response does not mean that the loss was insignificant or unimportant. Highlighting the fact that the intensity and the duration of any mental, emotional, physical and spiritual internal upheaval created by the experience of loss differs from loss to loss and from individual to individual.
This is true even when we share a similar type of loss as someone else. And also holds true when we share the death of the same loved one as other family members and/or friends. This is because each person involved has a similar but different experience. Many factors play into these differences. For example, the relationship one has with who or what was lost, role and responsibility changes, personality, life experience, previous experience of loss…
On The Other Hand
The experience of loss has the potential to suck the wind out of our sails, throw us overboard, and leave us swimming in a sea of grief related emotional, mental, and physical stress, shock, pain and despair. Discombobulated. Traumatized. Stunned. Numb from head to toe. Leaving us to deal with painful, confusing and conflicting emotions, disorganized thoughts and feelings, emptiness, despair, helplessness, hopelessness…
In other words, thrown for a loop.
Or we can experience anything in between a bump in the road experience —or the experience of being thrown overboard—overall or on any given day.
Just knowing what is normal normalizes our experience. Learn more in my book.
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