Grief and Blocked Imagination
The Black Hole
In the early season of grieving and healing many grievers (not all grievers because we each experience grief differently) experience an inability to imagine what their future will be like without their loved one. For me the future looked like a black hole in my mind’s eye every time I tried to look forward/imagine. Grief also impacted my ability to imagine what my healing would look like and feel like. If this is happening to you don’t panic—and don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed. Simply put, this is normal because of the trauma factor.
The Trauma Factor
Blocked imagination is a normal response to the death of a loved because the death of a loved one is traumatic. Research by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD, tells us that trauma changes perceptions and imagination. After the death of a loved one shock and numbness take over! The intenstiy and duration of the shock and numbness is an individual experience and this shock and numbness contributes to the inability to visualize the future. Learn about other Normal Grief Reactions: Normal Grief Reactions by Linda Pouliot
The Healing News
As the shock and numbness decrease—imagination more slowly for some of us and more quickly for others of us, returns. And as your ability to imagine returns so will your ability to begin to visualize yourself healing. And to visualize yourself functioning in a healthy way in your future without your loved one. However, until your imagination unblocks it’s helpful to do the following:
- Tell yourself—speak the words aloud if possible, journal if you find journaling helpful—that you are healing. Explain to yourself, as often as needed, that even though you really don’t know what healing means—or how it’s going to happen—or what your future will end up looking like—you are going to find out what that is. And that your future is going to be good. How? You are going to create your future with your thoughts and choices. In fact, you’re already doing this. So, keep putting one foot in front of the other and thinking healthy and productive thoughts and never stop making choices that will move you forward in your healing.
The bottom line is that even though it might not seem like it right now. You are already in the process of healing. Check out: Healthy Ways To Process Grief by Dr. Caroline Leaf
Tell Your Story
Keep telling your story to anyone who will listen because telling your story contributes to your healing. If family members and friends are tired of listening to your story—join a Grief Support Group or join a small group at your church—or at a local church.
We wrote this book for you so that you don’t have to figure out and learn things the hard way like we did. Get your copy today!
