Relief Is a Normal Grief Response
Relief is a normal grief response. Simply put, relief is one of the many normal responses that we can experience after the death of a loved one—or any other type of loss for that matter. Typically, relief is felt when the relationship involved:
- Someone who was difficult to get along with.
- Drug or alcohol abuse or addiction.
- Mental Illness.
- Your loved one experienced a long and painful illness. The relief that is felt because he or she is not in pain anymore.
- Caregiving 24/7. Some people enjoy having their time back to do with as they please once again and for others the adjustment of an empty schedule is difficult.
- A disability.
Other examples:
- Feeling relieved because you did not like the job that you just lost. However, at the same time feeling anxiety because now your job is to find another job.
- Empty nest. Enjoying your newfound freedom and at the same time discovering that the house is too quiet. And your schedule needs to fill up with new adventures.
After The Death of a Loved One
Feeling relief is not dishonoring the memory of your loved one—and there is no reason to feel guilty because it’s a normal grief response. What’s important to remember is that other family members and friends may not experience a sense of relief. And this is because each of us grieves differently. The experience of grief is different for each of us because each of us deals with stress, perceiving situations and or problems, problem solving, expressing our thoughts and feelings… Differently. And each person has a different relationship with the person who died. And by the way, these are just a few of the reasons why grieving family members and friends drive each other nuts.
Permission To Grieve
Give yourself permission to feel relief. Give yourself permission to grieve in your own way and allow others to do the same. It’s important to note, when it comes to normal grief responses, that some family members and friends may not be ready to acknowledge that other family members or friends are not having the same experience that they are. Another reason that we drive each other nuts.
Avoid The Inappropriate Guilt Trap
Inappropriate guilt is also a normal grief response. And inappropriate guilt likes to ride shotgun with relief. So, don’t allow I should/shouldn’t be feeling or feelings of regret to hold you hostage. Feeling guilty because you are experiencing a sense of relief is inappropriate guilt. The bottom line is you have nothing to feel guilty about. Embrace relief and put one foot in front of the other and move forward in your personal healing journey.
Learn more about inappropriate guilt starting on page 147 in our book, Grieving Forward: Death Happened, Now What? We wrote this book for you so that you don’t have to figure out and learn things the hard way like we did.
Buy Your Book Now
