Grief Is the Normal Reaction to Loss
Guess What? Expressions of grief are not a sign of emotional or mental weakness or an indicator of mental or brain health issues or a sign of lack of faith. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise does not know that they are talking about! Period. So, don’t let anyone tell you not to grieve! And don’t let anyone tell you how to grieve either.
The Truth Is
When someone suggests to you or outright tells you not to talk about your loved one or not to talk about what you are thinking and feeling. Or tells you not to cry… This is all about them and their discomfort with death, loss, grief and the normal mourning and grieving process. Frankly, you are a reminder that what happened to you and your family can happen to them and someone in their family. The death of a loved one is a reminder of the reality of mortality. The fact that no one lives forever.
When We Submit to This Nonsense
When we hold back our tears of grief and our words of grief… The pain. When we act as if nothing awful and life changing occurred-when the fact is that it did happen. All we are doing is giving these people permission to pretend that all is well when all is not well. To dismiss us because they do not have the necessary tools in their personal Life Skill Toolbox to handle loss and grief… They are stuck in fear. And guess what? You don’t have time for this right now.
Hang Out with People Who Understand
Find the support that you deserve and need. If you are coming up short in this area, it’s time to find a good grief support group. Grief Support Group Guidelines Join and show up for every session even if you don’t feel like it. In fact, many people attend multiple grief support groups during the first few years after the death of their loved one. Or find a therapist who specializes in trauma, loss and grief. Or do both! You need to be your own number one supporter right now. Defining Support
Healing
This is all about you healing. And guess what? Healing is not only possible. And even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. You’re already in the process of healing. Stay the course. Maybe in the future you’ll have room in your life for the people who have made your loss and pain all about them and their fear of loss, dying, death and grief… That said. The truth of the matter is that you can decide what type of relationship (or not) it is that you want with them later. However, right now save your time and energy for your healing. Because this is all about you healing.
Your First Three Needs
-
Find Your Words
-
Speak Your Words Aloud
-
Know That You Have Been Heard
Learn More in our book. We wrote this book so that you don’t have to figure out and learn things the hard way like we did.
