29 Jul When You Are Grieving You Need To Tell Your Story


Have you been telling your story?  You need to share your story with anyone who will listen.  This is because your brain and heart need to hear the words of your story, in your own voice, over and over again, in order to process and comprehend not only what has happened to your loved one–but what has happened to you.  In other words, you need to hear it to believe it!   Your brain and heart are in the process of rewiring and adjusting to an environment that no longer includes your loved one.  Another way of explaining this is that you are transitioning emotionally and mentally from having a physical relationship with your loved one to one of memory. This is exhausting grief work.

The good news is that early in grief people expect you to tell your story.  I told everyone everywhere I went.  The bank teller, the grocery store clerk, the mailman… I didn’t even care when people didn’t know how to respond to my news.  However, I did restrain myself from yelling, “My husband is dead! How can you all act as if nothing has happened?” when I had to go inside Meijer for groceries a few days after Donald’s funeral.  Even today when I am out shopping, I look around at all the people in the store and I know that someone in the crowd is grieving and wanting to yell the same thing.  I just wish that I could find them so that they could tell me their story.

Have you had to stop yourself from yelling in a crowd?


“The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving.”  Oliver Wendell Holmes