30 Jan Just Get Over It? Where Is That Coming From?


An ornate clock with the words Time to Heal on its face

Just Get Over It!  Where’s That Coming From? The culture we live in!  Somebody dies on a TV sitcom and everything is neatly wrapped up in under an hour.  The characters move on as if nothing happened.  Really? Even in reality TV (which is actually scripted) emotions explode or emotions are denied with no resolution—or there is no expression of normal grief emotions when there should be…

This is because we live in a culture that treats grief like an illness that needs a quick cure.  Why? Because displays of grief emotions make people who don’t (and some who do) understand the grieving and healing process uncomfortable.  This is why we are told not to cry or to just get over it.  Additionally, grief carries an emotional darkness that people fear—and part of this fear is the reality that we are not in control of our life as much as we want to believe.  Normal displays of grief emotions are a reminder of this fact and the fact that what happened to you could and at some point will happened to them.  Their loved one could die.  They are going to die.

Ignore the cultural message to pretend that all is well when all is not well.  It’s important to remember that some of us allow ourselves to move through the grief process on our own healing timetable without feeling an internal emotional need/pressure to rush healing along.  Others of us, however, feel an internal emotional pressure to try and move healing along faster than it can possibly happen.  Which category do you fit in?  I drove myself nuts trying to make healing go faster than is possible.  That is until I learned how much is involved in this healing thing and that you can’t make it go any faster than it does for you.

Healing Forward Action Step:  Ignore the cultural message to pretend that all is well when all is not well.  And don’t ignore or repress your grief emotions and the need to heal on your own personal healing timetable.  Never underestimate how hard you are working right now!