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Emotional Crash After Thanksgiving Day

Emotional Crash After Thanksgiving Day

The days leading up to a holiday can be filled with stress and anxiety.  And It’s normal to experience exhaustion and sometimes feel a bit grumpy the day after a holiday.  Thanksgiving is no exception.  Let’s face it.  Thanksgiving is a reminder that our loved one is not here.  That everything has changed. For example, my husband was the one who made Thanksgiving fun every year. That first Thanksgiving without him was so boring…  It didn’t help that he died two weeks before Thanksgiving.  Oh my gosh, even in our shock and numbness we each knew it was boring.  And not only was it boring everything else had changed.  My sister hosted Thanksgiving at her house.  Instead of a large crowd it was just my sister, myself, my two children and my parents.  There was no Venison.  No games.  No skeet shooting.  No fun.  I remember looking around the table at everyone and thinking this can’t happen again.  Take a minute and make a mental list of all the change that you have exerienced.  Unwanted change is exhausting.

It Took A Few Years To Come Up With A Plan We All Liked

Every year usually gets better.  However, normal life changes happen too.  And I think we notice these more because of all the unwanted change brought about by the death.  Children growing up and traveling.  Children spending the day with a new boyfriend or girlfriends family.  Children marry and spend day with their spouse’s family.  One year I decided to be the change maker and spent Thanksgiving in Key West without my children – however, this was before grandbabies came along.  And I really enjoyed it!  What I have come to realize is that circumstances always change.  This has taught me be more flexible. However, some years flexible is easier than other years.  Covid has changed our holiday’s too.

Survival Plan

Decide in advance to have a good attitude.  Decide to be flexible.  Decide to have fun.  Decide to share stories about your loved one.  Maybe light a candle or plant a tree in their honor.  Figure out where you want to celebrate next year.  Decide who will carve the turkey – taking turns is an option.  Plan together as a family.

Take Care Of You

It’s so important to take care of you right now because grief related stress is over the top.  Make sure you find time to rest – take a nap.  Try not to eat junk food because you need fuel for healing.  And this fuel comes from whole foods.   Drink plenty of plain water. Allow yourself alone time for sorting through what you are feeling.  Then redirect your thinking and actions to what you need to do for your healing.  Most important, acknowledge how hard that you have been working and how far you have come in your healing.  And start making your holiday plan for Christmas.

Check out Special Days and Holidays in our book, Grieving Forward: Death Happened, Now What?

Chapter on Special Days and Holidays begins on page 177.  My Personal Holiday Plan is on page 193.