25 Nov Emotional Crash After Thanksgiving Day

emotional-crash-thanksgiving-blogExperiencing An Emotional Crash After Thanksgiving Day?

It’s the day after Thanksgiving.  Are you experiencing an emotional crash?  Just asking.  Why?  Because, not every one does, but many of us do.  You need to know that this too is normal for grieving and healing.  For instance, did you wake up feeling emotionally and physically exhausted this morning?  Are you feeling a little more out of sorts or maybe a little sadder—possibly a bit depressed?  Or, do you feel as if you have taken 10 steps backwards in your healing?  You are not alone.  Since this is normal, why does this happen?

Why?

We crash emotionally and physically because Thanksgiving Day is a huge emotional marker, a reminder, that our loved one is not here—and they should be.  The days leading up to this day, and the day itself, produce layers of grief emotions and feelings that we have to work through and resolve.  Additionally, it’s a time for figuring out who we are, on this day, without our loved one.  This is a lot of grief work!

Secondary Loss and Role and Responsible Changes

Add to this that this is a day for dealing with secondary loss and unwanted change, too.  For example, was your loved one the one who carved the turkey every year?  Yesterday, either you or another family member was responsible for this task.  Was your child was the one who did the planning and kept the party going?  Yesterday probably ended up being rather dull without him or her.  And, we sometimes have to deal with the dumb things that people say.

Some People Say Dumb Things

Group of dog and cat; Chihuahua puppy, french bulldog puppy and 2 Exotic Shorthair kitten

Did someone say something to you yesterday that annoyed you or made you so angry that you want to scream?  Usually, the intention behind the words is to be helpful—sometimes words just come out wrong. However, other times we are forced to deal with someone who just doesn’t get it.  And then there are the people who need to be in the spotlight, no matter what’s going on with anyone else, everything has to be all about them.

Did someone tell you to get over it, or ask why you aren’t over it? Were you told not to cry?  Maybe someone told you to just have another baby?  Or, could they fix you up on a date…  None of this is about you.  It’s all about them. Grief makes people uncomfortable and they say things to make themselves feel better.  You are reminder that what happened to you could happen to them.  Let the words go.  Don’t let their words and the anger the words produce hold you hostage in your grief.  You need to focus your thoughts and energy on healing—and sometimes humor is helpful.

Healing Forward Action Step

Vector Thanksgiving Turkey

Rest.  Eat Healthy.  Drink plenty of plain water.  Allow yourself the time to sort through what you are feeling.  Then redirect your thinking and actions to what you need to do for your healing.  Acknowledge just how hard that you have been working and how far you have come in your healing.  And if someone did say sometime stupid—forgive them and for forgive them… until forgiveness sticks in your heart.  And if it is unforgivable—put it on the back burner and address it later, if you can.

Hugs, Linda