17 Feb Do You Want Some? Really? The Dumb Things People Say!

join the conversation on the BlogDo You Want Some? Really? The Dumb Things People Say!

People say dumb things to us sometimes when we are grieving.  The thing to keep in mind is that most of the time they think that they are being helpful.  On my YouTube video I told you I would share the worst thing that I have heard to date.  So here goes.

Years ago a friend shared with me that a few days after her husband’s funeral she had a very memorable encounter with her neighbor.  She walked out her side door to go to her car and her neighbor was in his backyard.  He walked up to the fence and yelled over to her, “Hey there Mrs.__________, You haven’t had any in a while—do you want some?”  Unbelievable!  She shared that she was so stunned that all she could do was turn around and walk back into her house.

This man was married.  She knew his wife.  His children played with her children…  I want to share what I learned from my friend because it’s so important.  She explained to me that after a couple of days of trying to deal with her anger, she realized that she had a choice to make.  She could either continue to dwell on this event—and keep getting madder and madder or she could put it on the back burner for later.  She realized that dwelling on his words would hold her hostage in her grieving process and possibly stall her healing.  And if she got stuck in her grief her children would get stuck in their grief.  She decided that she did not want to give her energy for healing and personal power away to this man.  So every time the event popped up in her mind she redirected her thinking to something else—something that promoted healing.

I’m sure some of you have experienced worse—share with us if you like.