The Anniversary Of The Death
This day was never a part of your life until the death of your loved one. Now that it is, you may be wondering, Now What? For starters, it’s helpful to understand what’s normal for the anniversary of the death. Why? So that you can navigate your healing journey without getting stuck in the emotional muck that grief sometimes produces on holidays, special days and on the anniversary of the death.
What’s Normal?
The anticipation of this day is usually worse than the day itself ends up being. Furthermore, it’s normal to be exhausted for a few days and sometimes even a week or more after the day passes. Why? The arrival of this day triggers more layers of emotion to sort out and work throug. This day is an emotional reality marker that highlights the fact that the death really did happen—and it highlights how much has changed.
Is Every Year Different?
Yes. Every year is a different emotional experience because every year you will be at a different point in your healing. Which means that you will breeze through this day some years and other years you will be more emotional. And it doesn’t matter how far out from the death date that you are or how far along that you are in your healing. This is just the way it is.
What Else Impacts This Day?
Every year is different because everything else that is going on in your will impact this day. For example, another death, the birth of a grand baby, a child graduating, parenting grieving children, a marriage or a divorce, a job change, selling or buying a house, retiring… The list goes on and on. All the events that we believe our loved one should still be here for. All of life circumstances where we could really use his or her input.
Be Proud Of Yourself
It’s very important on the anniversary of the death to take the time to remember how much healing that you have accomplished during the last 365 days. Be proud of yourself.
Healing Forward Action Step:
Find ways to honor the memory of your loved one. For example, plant a tree or make a donation to your loved one’s favorite charity. Be creative. You can also meet as a family or with friends and share memories and light a candle or release balloons. Again, be creative and do what works for you and your family. Share with us what your experience with the anniversary of the death has been to date, too.